Now THIS is Americana
“You can use statistics to prove anything. 14% of all people know that.”
- The Simpsons
95% of America looks nothing like the celebrities you see on the television and in the movies. And while not all celebrities are attractive, (the screen can do a lot for you, can’t it Mr. Cage?) the general consensus is they are more attractive than us.
Although, looking at the photoshops in the link below, maybe not so much more after all.
If Our Celebrities Moved to Oklahoma
I began with laughter, but ended in a more reflective mindset.
In high school I had a small revelation. So called “beautiful people” are usually only a slight feature change away from deformity. It’s a phrase I’ve come back to time and time again in my own mind. A good looking person might be that way because of perfectly balanced features, but just as often they are regarded as such because an accentuated feature. Say large eyes, or perhaps a particularly sleek chin. But the other side of the coin is that these accentuated features, if caught in the wrong light, they could seem quite strangely featured — even alien, to a degree.
If said eyes were to grow yellow with age, or said chin was to grow a twin, that person may not be regarded as beautiful anymore. This point is (sort of) where my mind went looking through the pictures above. And from the other end of the spectrum, maybe the humdrum yokels you meet on a daily basis could be one step away from “beauty.”
Tags: Nicholas Cage sucks, oklahoma, photoshopped celebrities
March 13, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Damn, waxing all deep philosophical and shit. WTF? I come to this blog for contemporary pop culture inanity.
Seriously though, cool thought. I’ll be thinking on that one for a while.
March 19, 2008 at 2:45 am
The Sharon Stone one is the best!
I think an important thing to keep in mind is that these “beautiful people” aren’t necessarily naturally beautiful. It takes a lot of makeup and plucking to look that good. When models go out on a runway they don’t look anything like themselves.
March 27, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Haven’t you seen The Swan. Anyone can be made “beautiful”.
*shudders*
April 23, 2008 at 9:34 pm
this is true. the french have a particular phrase for this which is jolie-fed. it literally means pretty ugly. I had a boyfriend in high school who was jolie-fed and when I told my friend Nick that he was like “yeah Joe is a good looking dude, but you probably already realized that he’s like three face moves away from looking like an elf.”